RESOURCES FOR BEGINNERS
Welcome to my resources for beginners area otherwise known as fetish and fantasy 101. I have compiled this with you in mind, whether you choose to visit me or any other professional BDSM establishment its always great to have a solid basic education to help you ask the right questions, pick the right Domme, communicate your desires and get the sex you really want! As you can imagine, the professional BDSM and FETISH world is huge! it encompasses a multitude of personalities and avenues to explore. Instead of spending a lifetime learning every little thing there is to know, and freaking yourself out before you jump into a real life play scene, i would suggest i teach you firstly to ask the right questions. This will enable you to quickly find the right Mistress to devote your time to, in turn she will be able to take you on the journey of exciting and intense sex play. The complicated stuff can come later once you get a handle on a few basic things and start to learn more about what really gets you off. So here it is! my little free resource for you-the ultimate starting point for a total beginner, i hope it helps!
YOU CAME HERE FOR A REASON
Everyone deserves great sex, everyone can get it. i really believe it! I don't care who you are or how long you have been doing things a certain way, there is always room for improvement by adding new and fun elements into your sexual repertoire. BDSM play is a lot fun and fantasy role play is even more fun! It doesn't have to be all dark and scary for a beginner, you dont have to feel like your jumping off a cliff into the abyss of the unknown. A real play scene is really not like you see in the movies, although that makes a good story. Real play is much better than what you have ever seen before! A good kink relationship with a trusted professional is like an extremely knowledgeable friend and fuck buddy...well that doesn't sound so bad does it? With a few simple tips and a mistress who guides you like a horse to water, you will be on your way in no time!
YOUR IDEAL MISTRESS
Your ideal mistress will most likely NOT be your usual type of woman you would necessarily go after in "the real world". In fact, she will often be some sort of unusual type, someone you have never even thought about sleeping with. When looking for a mistress, it is always good to have a nice balance between sexual attraction and competence. So in other words find someone sexy who isn't a total air head, find someone who is intelligent and good at what they do but doesn't look like a beaten up old Ford. True mistresses are a rare breed and tend not to be so readily available on the street to have a perv at, so pick someone sexy who maybe even intimidates you a little. Ha! you want someone smart, sassy, confident, with a good sense of humor and a level and respectful head on her shoulders. You want someone who takes great pride in her appearance and enjoys to look her best in her dungeon domain, its all part of the fantasy. Trust me, it matters.....
ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE
Ask the right questions from yourself first and foremost. When searching, it is always best to be sure of what your looking for.
Have a look at the list of questions below, and ask them of yourself. I would love to know your answers when making a booking with me...
*How do I want to "feel" during my time?
*What are my motivations for trying a different type of sex?
*What is missing in my current sex?
*What do i like the idea of/ what do i find beautiful to look at when thinking of sex?
*Am i prepared to take a risk and allow my mistress to take respectful control for the time that we are playing?
*Do i trust her?
BE PREPARED TO TAKE RISKS...THEY CAN TEACH YOU THINGS
There really is nothing worse than going into an experience full of anticipation and excitement only to be let down, but really not know what went wrong. Luckily, when dealing with a professional Domme who is passionate and most importantly good at their craft, you do cut out a lot of the risk of disappointment when playing in fantasy land. Worst case scenario is that you walked away more educated about your own sexuality than you were when you walked through the door. Not so bad of a worst case scenario is it?
LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR
Having an ego will hold you back, no doubt about it. The quicker you lose it, the better you are in the bedroom across the board, in a Pro Domme setting and in your private personal life sex also. No one is an ultimate expert and even the professionals are constantly learning, improving and perfecting their craft. Especially when peoples safety and trust is involved a no ego zone is a must in my dungeon. The fun really is in the journey, so be open to it and don't be afraid to ask questions. The great thing about enlisting professional services in this area is you can let go completely of the fear of judgement. We do it every day of our lives, nothing is "too hard basket" and its our job to make the right experience for your needs not our own, which is better for your experience as worrying about the judgement of a partner surely kills the mood.
DO THE RESEARCH.....IN OTHER WORDS....LOOK AT PORN!
I am a huge fan of good porn, its a great starting point to get your creative juices flowing and give you an idea of what looks cool.
Its always a great idea to have a few of your favorite pictures or links available for your chosen mistress to view, as they say a picture speaks 1000 words and a film speaks many more.
She can then dissect your most loved scene and you can quickly get on the right page working together from the start.
In saying that, I will extend a word of caution. All porn is not created equal and some of it is downright embarrassing to watch. So to help you even further, here are some of my personal favorites and suggestions for you " normal" people who maybe haven't explored into BDSM and FETISH porn before, this will help you skim over the bad stuff and get right to it.
The following link takes you to my fetish film projects, click here to discover more HERE
Questions for you to ponder:
*What films did you like the best? were they similar?
*Which types of scenes did you like the best? why?
*Were there any outfits that you enjoyed looking at the most?
*Was there a piece of equipment that really stood out or that you like the look of?
The next time you enjoying watching porn, have a think about these types of questions.
It really helps to narrow down your specific interests and preferences that you didn't really know you had and a few things you didn't even know existed.
Which brings me to my next point!
DON'T RELY ON OTHER PEOPLES EXPERIENCES
Your going to have to trust me on this one guys, the world of fantasies has no place for things like review and word of mouth. You know the ol' saying about opinions? Yep everyone's got one. Always remember, what is an amazing sessions for one person may be hum drum boring for the next person, only leading to disappointment. You will come across many people in internet land telling you conflicting things in the world of sexual discovery when the real truth is, you don't know if you will like it till you give it a go. Enjoy the fact that you are an individual and its your job to find out what makes you tick. That's half the fun! the next half is trying it again just in case you weren't sure the first time.
DON'T THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL
Often, those who think they would not enjoy playing in fetish or fantasy play really just haven't found the right person to play with yet. There are a multitude of factors that make a great fantasy scenario, some are organic and nearly intangible like chemistry or the "click" factor between two people which unfortunately cannot be faked or turned on and off. I would say this accounts for may be 5% of the category describing "less than amazing" fantasy sessions. The other 95% is things you can control, things you can plan for and systems you can put in place to make your play session become the best it possibly can be. Often, chemistry comes along with other factors such as trust and respect. Everyone will know at least one person in their life who they found hugely sexy simply because they were authoritative and worthy of respect, it goes hand in hand. Which is why it is so immensely powerful for a submissive partner to find the right Domme. its a match made in sex-heaven.
AND FINALLY, RELAX!
You have done all the planning? you have found your dream girl? you have asked all the right questions? Its time to take the back seat and let your pro mistress do what shes good at. Taking control. It may be a wild ride, but you will never forget....or regret it. See you on the other side! xx Sophia
Exerpt from Localist
“Yet while the internet is how most people explore sexuality, for Mistress Sophia it was books and meeting the right people at the right time that set her on her current path. The adult industry is not an easy one to catch a break in and suitable mentors are even harder to find, so she is self-taught as a dominatrix. “In this industry you’re old at 25,” adds Mistress Sophia. “I’m 25 and I feel like a veteran. That’s another thing with this industry, you can be irrelevant very quickly. Looks wise, it would be similar to the modeling industry. You’re over very quickly and it’s up to you to stick a stake in the sand. Aging and timing is crucial.”